Hiei babysits the Rekai Tantei
by chibi-zayla
Summary: Another chibi story, but what if Hiei was the only adult? He'd have to take care of Yusuke, Kurama and...Kuwabara. O.o Will they survive Hiei? Hell, can Hiei even handle them?! If its pg then that for mild language, right? Or should I make it pg-13? Ahh..
1. Default Chapter

Yay, I had another fanfic idea, so I thought I'd put it up. Hope y'all enjoy it cause I know I did...bwahahahahahahahahaha

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Yusuke: You can tell this is going to be bad...

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Kuwabara: She scares me.

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chibi Zayla: Silence! My fanfic begins!!

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Kurama: Unusual girl, isn't she?

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chibi Zayla: eye twitches SILENCE I SAY, OR ELSE I'll WRITE A YAOI LEMON OF...hm, all the guys have been in those kinda fics before so...drat

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Kuwabara, Yusuke, Kurama: HA! smile smugly wait..that's nothing to be proud of...

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Hiei: You're all idots.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho and am mot making money off of this fanfic...sniff It's not fair, it's not fair!!

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Koenma sat behind his enormous mahagony desk. The little tyke was barely able to prop an elbow for his short elbows only reached so high. His trademark pacifier stayed in his mouth, covering nearly all his chin. His fingers tapped on the desk in an anxious manner. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Stop. Tap, tap, tap, tap. The grandfather clock chimed four times. He was late, as usual.

"Oh man! Koenma-sama is gonna kill me!" A figure ran through the Forbidden Forest. Traces could be seen, mere flashes of color, as the young wolf demon Kyo zoomed passed the wildlife surroundings. He took great pains in holding onto the pouch grasped within his hands. His dear life depended on that ancient looking, bear skinned pouch.

Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara walked along the path leading to Koenma's palace. They took their time sightseeing. Even the road leading to the fortress was made to fit the toddler's taste.

"Can you believe he put statues of himself on the sides of the road? Talk about self obsessed," commented Yusuke upon finding one the elegant looking statues. It seemed to be made from pure gold. The sun stood high overhead, casting rays of light onto the statue, which in turn created a brilliant shine that emanated from the golden Koenma. "I wonder if it's real gold..." Yusuke walked over to the statue and proceeded to touch it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Yusuke." Kurama's soft voice stopped the young rebel's actions, for a brief moment.

"Why? It's not like the thing's rigged or nothing." As he spoke his hand reached for the statue and was instantly zapped with a few hundred volts of electricity. "YAAAAAAAAH!" Kurama sighed as Kuwabara stood wide-eyed before keeling over onto the floor. His laughter made it unbearable for him to stand.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA!! Oh man, look at yourself, Urameshi. This is just too good." Kurama bite his thumb in order to stop the laughter from surfacing. His efforts were useless and he began to chuckle.

"Haha, very funny. Now can we continue?!" Smoke was filtering from his ears. He was entirely black, except for his eyes, which were at this point narrowed into an angry glare. His clothes were burnt, with patches missing in different places, though it made no different because his charred skin camouflaged with the equally charred clothing. "I really hate that diaper head."

"I," The red haired kitsune laughed, "I tried to warn you, Yusuke. Koenma wouldn't just leave a golden statue lying around unprotected."

"That sneaky little brat..."

"Speakin' of sneaky brats, where the hell is Hiei?" Kuwabara asked, scanning the area for any sign of the short little koorime. "Why didn't he come with you, Kurama?"

"He said he had to take care of a few things back at the Ningenkai."

"Like what?!? That little three eyes doesn't even _live _there, so what business could he possibly have there?" Yusuke glanced over at Kurama. He in turn, only shrugged.

"Two words: 'sweet snow'." The other two nodded, understanding all too well what he meant. Hiei's time in the human world expanded his senses, especially his taste sense. After reluctantly agreeing to accompany the spirit detectives( he was forced by Yusuke) to a 'guy's night out', as Kuwabara called it, Hiei was taken to a dance club. That may not have been such a good idea. Yusuke, after dancing with a few girls,(Back off, you Y/K fans!! He was only dancing) walked over to Hiei, who was just about to use his Jagan on a burly looking man four times his size. Their voices were barely audible over the loud music.

"You better watch where ya walk, shrimp. You pushed me an' I don' like ta be pushed." It was the man who spoke. He was a giant of a man with knuckles the size of rocks. His black hair was pulled back into a small ponytail with only a few bangs left untouched. As he moved, his tight red shirt moved with him, showing off every muscle his upper body had. His black pants were equally tight, but were less able to show his body on account of the darkness of the club.

"Lie all you want, buffoon, but I never pushed you. But if you'd like, I could do more than that," said Hiei, reaching for the bandanna around his forehead. The Jagan Eye began to glow a bright purple, awaiting its use with anticipation.

"HIEI! Don't you even dare do that!" Yusuke rushed over to the quarreling men and placed himself smack dab in the middle of the two. He stood before Hiei, with his back turned to the older man. "Hiei, if you use your Jagan then you know what Koenma'll do. He'll punish you. Harshly." He stared down at the fire demon and never took his gaze away from Hiei's own. He had been hard to spot, what with his all black wardrobe. Except this time he was not wearing his usual get-up. Tonight he wore a black t-shirt under a black jean jacket with, of course, black jeans.

"Don't, Hiei. Don't." His stare never faltered, nor did Hiei's. Yusuke finally sighed with relief as Hiei turned his head to the left, crossing his arms over his chest. His face held an angry scowl, though it was more a signal of defeat than anger.

"Hn. I thought I was suppose to have fun tonight."

"Oh, you will Hiei, you will." With that said, Yusuke grabbed onto Hiei's wrist and pulled the growling boy through the crowd and into the center of the dance club. The red shirted man stood in place, not really understanding that he had been jilted.

"Huh?"

Yusuke walked through the cluster of men and women that danced to the music booming from the speakers up front. The lights up above began to change colors and the music began to get more upbeat. The club became an array of colors, tainting anyone and everyone. Hiei walked along behind Yusuke and was suddenly surprised to have bumped into him. Yusuke had stopped abruptly, finally finding the perfect spot to dance.

"Alright Hiei, here we are. Now let's dance!" His arms were swinging wildly above his head, which was moving from side to side in it's own manner. His hips were also being thrust from side to side, as well as to the front and behind. Hiei watched with utter surprise. This then turned into utter distaste. The beat grew quicker, along with Yusuke's movement. "C'mon Hiei, dance!"

"I'd rather die a thousand deaths than move my body in that ridiculous manner. I'm leaving."

"Aw, come on. Lighten up and have some fun!" At this point Yusuke was yelling as the music was a bit louder than before.

"I'd rather not." And he walked off into the shadows again...or atleast he tried to for the bundle of people around him wouldn't permit it. It was far too crowded for him to walk out, even someone as small as him. But he managed, with some difficulty, to move to a more discrete place: the bar. Hiei grabbed a stool and sat down, proping an elbow on the bar table. His sigh came out tired and slow. He chastised himself for even thinking about coming with them, let along actually being here. The bartender, glancing over and seeing his face, walked over to Hiei.

"Hey there, buddy. What's wrong?"

"Nothing that concerns you, _friend_."

"Oh, an angry one. What's the matter? Girl trouble?"

"Ehe, you might want to talk to Kuwabara about that." He chuckled at his last remark. Making fun of Kuwabara always made Hiei feel better.

"Huh? Well, it seems your feeling better. Oh, hold on, I got a customer," said the bartender as he walked off to the far end of the bar. He came back a few minutes later. "Here, the girl over there says hi." He pointed behind him to a young girl around Yusuke's age with dark red hair and even darker eyes. She smiled at Hiei and waved at him. Hiei, not even knowing what was going on replied with a "hn." The bartender looked at him. "Well, aren't you going to eat it?" Hiei only stared back.

"What?"

"The ice cream?" He nudged the ice cream closer to Hiei, who only stared at the bowl. It was brown and felt cold, even from his distance. A layer of white surrounded the ball of brown. At the top of the confection stood a rectangular cream colored thing.

"Ice Cream?" Was all he could say, or at least ask.

"Yeah. I'll admit it is a shame to sell ice cream at a bar, but with all you kids running around we can't sell any alcohol. You know how it is. So, are you going to make that gal over there happy and eat it?" the bartender smiled. " Maybe that'll take your mind offa that other girl you were so depressed over." Hiei jerked his head up.

"What did you say? Are you implying that I would sulk over a female?"

"No, no, buddy. I'm just saying you should eat that ice cream."

"I refuse," he said as he got off the stool and walked towards the exit. He stopped in mid-stop, as a growl emanated from his stomach. All his anger had gotten him hungry. He stood there, pondering his choices, then grudgingly sat back down on the stool and reached for the spoon that laid next to the bowl.

"Good choice, buddy. Now she won't feel bad," said the bartender as he walked over to the girl. Hiei "hn"ed and proceeded to scoop a spoonful of what was called ice cream. He looked at the contents in the spoon and momentarily regretted coming back. A growl from his stomach made him forget and he place the chocolate ice cream into his mouth. It was cold. That was his first sensation of the new food. It was cold, and strangely satisfying.

"Sweet snow!" He yelled and ate another spoonful. Yes, it was nice and smooth going down his throat. Another spoonful. The flavor was great. Another. Another spoonful. It wasn't long before the ice cream was gone and only the bowl was left, which Hiei tried to lick in order to get more of his new favorite food. The bartender look oddly at him.

"Uh, do you want another one?" Hiei's head moved up and down and a wild manner. The bartender left to fetch another chocolate ice cream. As Hiei waited impatiently for the 'sweet snow' to arrive, a figure approached him, and sat down next to him.

"Hi. I'm Sayaka.(no, not the kid). And you are?"

"Not someone that cares," he replied bluntly, still awaiting the dessert.

"Hey, don't be mean. I'm the one who sent you the ice cream." Hiei turned to face her. She was right. It was the same red-headed girl that was sitting at the corner. She smiled at him. He didn't smile back.

"I'm waiting for my sweet snow. Go away."

"You're w-WHAT? Y-you don't like me? But I thought-"

"No, you _didn't_ think." Her eyes began to grow larger and larger. Hiei could see water forming at their sides. Her mouth twitched. She ran away, crying. The little koorime turned back to waiting for the bartender. He came back. In his hands he held Hiei's prized treat: sweet snow.

"Here you are. Knock yourself out." As soon as the bowl touched the table Hiei snatched it and began wolf down the flavored snow. He finished and waited expectantly from the bartender. He in turn only looked at Hiei wide-eyed.

"You want another?..."

"Now." The bartender came back a few minutes later with another chocolate ice cream. It was dejavu as Hiei scarfed down yet another bowl.

"You sure you can pay for this?" Hiei only mumbled out his answer, an answer unable to be deciphered by the bartender.

Kurama danced to the music of the club. Or, at least he tried to. The women surrounding him made it impossible to dance. They crowded him, trying to get close enough to talk to him. That apparently did not work for as one girl tried to close in on him another would do the same, which created conflicts between the two. And poor Kurama was always stuck in between the cat fights. It was always a pain trying to squeeze away from them. He managed though, with his sanity in tact. Green eyes scanned the dancers for any sign of familiar faces. Farther ahead was Kuwabara, dancing with a giggling girl. They seemed to be having fun. The kitsune decided to walk over to them. After all, this was a night for _all _of them to have fun. Being jumped on by a bunch of crazy girls was not Kurama's idea of fun. He spotted Yusuke's white t-shirt, who was at a closer distance, and decided to hang out with him instead. "Yususke!" he hollered and waved his hand as high as it could go. Yusuke heard his call as a whisper, but heard it none the less. Turning his neck, he caught a glimpse of his friend's red hair and stripped button down shirt before his view was covered by a few new dancers.

"KURAMA! ARE YOU STILL OVER THERE?" The once dead boy pushed his way through the gathering people.

"YES, I AM!"

"STAY THERE, I'LL GET OVER TO YOU!" Push, push. "Sorry. Excuse me. HEY, MOVE IT!" It took some time before Yusuke finally reached his friend and group mate. "Are you having fun or what, Kurama?"

"Oh yes, loads of fun...Where is Hiei? I haven't seen him since we got here."

"Hiei? He walked off somewhere after I brought him over here to dance.Woah- Don't push me, freak!" Crowds of people were pushing past Yusuke and Kurama, making their way to the center of the floor. Cheers were heard as well as a few whistles, which came mostly from the women in the room. "What the hell is going on over there?"

"I'm not sure," said Kurama, trying not to get separated from Yusuke by the millions of people that walked past him.

"Let's go find out." His hand reached for Kurama's wrist and he pulled. The kitsune followed. They barely managed to make their way to the center of the dance floor because the crazed females kept scratching their way over there, trying by any means necessary. When they finally did reach their destination the scene that lay before them shocked them more than words could describe.

A short boy with hair that shot up like fire, was dancing in the middle of a ring of spectators. The jacket he once wore was now off, being swung wildly above his head. He swayed his hips in to and fro, side to side. The soles of his feet would stomp on the floor, come back up, then stomp again, accordingly with the music. What was more surprising was the fact that Hiei was singing as well. It was WILD WIND he sang to (For those that don't know, Wild Wind is the duet song Kurama and Hiei sing). Though he didn't have the beat to sing to he was doing a good job.

"KAZE GA HASHIRU ORE WO YOBU MUGON NO HARIKEEN

ARE WA SAIN KESSEN NO AIZU DAROU...!!!"

Kurama and Yusuke could only stare in sheer surprise.

"I-is _that _really Hiei?" asked Yusuke as he pointed a shaking finger at the dancing Hiei, who was just about done taking his shirt off. Women could be heard screaming and cheering, giving encouragements by whistles and yowls.

"URAMESHI! URAMESHI!" Kuwabara's carrot hair stood out from among the crowd, mainly because he was taller than most. He reached the dumbfounded duo and asked what his friends were thinking. "IS THAT REALLY HIEI?!"

"I believe so, Kuwabara, though I'm not so sure as to _why _he's doing that," said Kurama, his attention still turned to Hiei's spectacle.

"Do you think the little creep's just having fun? I mean, he is always looking like everything's a dump. Maybe he's just unwinding." The other two stared at Yusuke. Then all three began to laugh. "Yeah right, what was I thinking?" Yusuke was just about to comment some more when something black struck his face. It wasn't the impact that surprised him because the object was very soft. What soon surprised him was _what_ it was. "GAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?! GETTITOFF!" The struggle between him and the object soon ended. Yusuke had succeeded in removing dark material from his face. It was black, made from cotton, and very soft. Yusuke's eyes widened. "GAH! THIS IS HIEI'S SHIRT!" His gaze moved back to the now shirtless Hiei. His jacket was missing too. Then he saw it. The black jean jacket was being worn by a girl with dark red hair. Hiei was still dancing and his singing continued as well.

"KIZU DARAKE NO YUME GA ORE WO KARITATETA

HIETA MUNE NI NOROKU HI WO AROU YOUNI!!" Hiei was now proceeding to unbutton his jeans, an act Yusuke and Kurama could not allow. Kuwabara welcomed the embarrassing new move with glee and went so far as to grab a camera. He was then hit on the head by Yusuke.

"MORON! WE GOTTA STOP HIEI!" He pushed his once enemy into the circle of females and followed after. Kurama also went, hoping to stop the other two from anymore trouble. Hiei was just about to pull his pants down when Yusuke appeared and slapped him upside the head. Hiei turned to see his friend and ally.

"H-hey Yusuke! What's going on?"

"HIEI! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" The rebellious youngster stood glaring at the short demon.

"I don't know..." replied Hiei, his gaze looking off somewhere far away, as if lost in thought. Yusuke stopped glaring and instead chose the wide-eyed look he did so well. He raised an eyebrow at the koorime's strange behavior, but then shrugged it off when he realized that the women were becoming rowdy.

"Look Hiei, we have to leave right now. If we don't then...this place will become a strip club, the women will most likely glomp you to death and I'll get in trouble with the authorities as well as Koenma. SO COME ON!"

"NOOOO!! I CAN'T LEAVE MY SWEET SNOW!! MY PRECIOUS SWEET SNOW!!" cried Hiei as he tried with all his might to pull away form Yusuke's grip.

"Sweet what?! What the hell are you babbling about Hiei?! Come on, we gotta go. NOW!" But his pleas were to no avail. The more he tried the more Hiei screamed. His slim body pushed and pulled, but he was mentally not functioning well and so his body wasn't as strong as usual. The women surrounding the two were becoming angry.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE! IF HE WANTS TO DANCE, LET HIM!"

"YEAH, DON'T HOG HIM TO YOURSELF!"

"I WANT HIM TO DANCE!"

"NOW LISTEN YOU WITCHES, HIEI ISN'T GONNA DANCE FOR YA! GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BE YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!" That might not have been the best way to handle things. The women all began emanating a glow from their bodies. Their spirit energies rose a bit higher than a normal women's should and they attacked.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A WITCH?!" they all hollered in unison.

'YUSUKE! RUN!" yelled Kurama. Kuwabara, who stood next to him, laughed.

"OH MAN URAMESHI, THIS IS TOO GOOD!" laughed Kuwabara. The angered women turned to the kitsune and human. Each one cracked their knuckles, in attempt to scare the other two boys. It worked.

"YOU TWO MUST BE IN WITH HIM TOO!" And they ran after them. Kuwabara screamed and ran from the unified group of women. Kurama used his energy in an attempt at escape. The summoned rei energy gave him a quick boost and he zoomed off, past the crazed women, past the bar and to the location of Yusuke and Hiei, who were at the moment being charged at by hundreds of women. In the blink of an eye he grabbed Yusuke, who was holding on to Hiei, and ran though the forming group of females. The exit sign was within reach. Kurama high tailed it, but stopped dead in his tracks. Kuwabara, in his retreat from the devil women, had unknowingly led them all to the exit, their last hope of survival. Yusuke was stumped.

"Got any ideas, Kurama?"

"Just one," he said as he reached for his hair and pulled out a small rose. Calling forth his rei energy, Kurama transformed the once beautiful rose into a thorn whip. His arm went back and he thrust the whip forward. It shot through the air, catching the exit sign and tightly holding on. Kurama turned to Yusuke. "Needless to say, hold on." Yusuke did as told. He put an arm around Kurama's slim waist and used the other one to hold the screaming Hiei.

"NOOO! MY SWEET SNOW!!" he cried, over and over. This was driving Yusuke's patience.

"HIEI WOULD YOU B-WAHH!" he hollered as Kurama took to the air. He swung forward, above the heads of the angry women. In the crowd of 'witches' Yusuke caught sight of a carrot headed boy. A screaming one.

"URAMESHI! KURAMA! HELP ME!"

"GRAB ONTO MY HAND, KUWABARA" yelled Kurama, letting down his hand for his friend to grasp. He did so, right before one of the women tried to jump after him. They reached the doors and jumped off the whip, landing a good 20 yards from the club. The women began to claw their way out of the door. The others ran as fast as their legs could carry them. Had it been a demon or monster, the Rekai Tantei would have succeeded in beating it, but these were human women and no matter what anyone said, women were always scarier than any demon(that's what my someone told me a while back...so i'll take it to heart ;p).

"Now what Urameshi? What should we do with Hiei?" asked Kuwabara once they were a safe distance from the man eating females. He was kneeling on the floor, trying to catch his breath.

"I think we should go to the Reikai and see Koenma. That toddler probably watched this and has a tape of it. You know he's always keeping an eye on us. With the tape we can see why Hiei was...weird."

And so the group of friends walked off to Spirit World. They found Koenma as well as the answer to Hiei's strange behavior. It all became clear to them as they watched the video.

The flashback ended with the trio shivering at its remembrance. They reached the entrance to the palace(I don't really know what it is..). Kuwabara spoke over to Koenma on the intercom. The doors opened and they entered. The hallway they walked in was dark and quiet, downright eerie. They walked in silence, only the sounds of their feet as they trotted cautiously, were heard.

"Huh?" Yusuke had felt it. A quick trace of energy. Strange. It was there for a brief second and then gone. Kurama had felt it too. His nose had also sensed it and caught hold of its smell, which was strangely strong. His gaze met Yusuke and he nodded back at Kurama. Both were on guard. Kuwabara, on the other hand, walked along, not noticing the other two's anxiousness. A flash passed by. The velocity itself caused Kuwabara to loose balance and fall face first onto the cold tile floor.

"Are you alright, Kuwabara?" Kurama kneeled down net to him. "Did you see that, Yusuke? It was very quick."

"Yeah, but what the heck was it? I couldn't even see it."

"I believe it was a demon. A wolf demon, to be more precise."

"A wolf demon? How the hell do you figure? I mean, me and Urameshi couldn't even see it so how could you?" Kuwabara placed one hand onto the floor, while placing the other on his upright knee and pushed himself up. He dusted himself off while Kurama explained.

"I could smell his scent. He was a wolf demon, all right. Those demons are known for their speed. They appear human, but they live with wolves and treat them as brethren." (InuYasha...hehe)

"Really? That's freaky. Anyways, we'd better hurry or else his brat king will get mad at us for being late." They continued on. Further on ahead was the door which was being opened before a demon figure.

"Come in Kyo. It's been a while," greeted Koenma to his friend and messenger. He looked from the pile up papers on his desk to see a young teenager of about 16 standing by the door. He had a mess of black adorning his had, all reaching his neck and nothing more. His tight, black tank top reached down to his abdomen, which was also covered in a soft fox skinned material that went down to his cover a bit of thigh. His legs were covered around by fur, the same type of fur that adorned his hips and thighs.

"Koenma-sama, I'm sorry I'm late. But-I mean, the magic and the potion...they took longer to get than expected." He bowed displaying his remorse at being late.

"Oh get over it, Kyo. You're always late anyways, so why does it matter now?" Kyo lifted himself from his position. He smiled.

"Thank you, Koenma-sama," he said, standing as a soldier would in the presence of his general. He was as still as could be, except for the furry light brown tail that swayed wildly behind him. Its motion would not cease, not Kyo's horror. He was just so happy to have been let off without much of a scolding.

"Get on with it, Kyo," said Koenma with boredom.

"Ah, yes, of course, sir." The young demon was a bit of a nervous wreck. His held out the olden pouch, almost dropping it twice, and placed in Koenma's opened palm. "This is the age magic you wanted, sir." Koenma hurriedly opened the pouch to reveal three strawberry covered rice balls. He propped an eyebrow.

"_THIS _is the magic that will make me older?" He asked, growing angrier with every second.

"Yes, it is, Koenma-sama. Well, actually, the potion is _in _the the treats. I just thought it would be tastier this way." He smiled again, hoping that all that extra work would get him on Koenma's good side.

"Good job, Kyo. You really outdid yourself this time." Koenma reached into one of the drawers in his desk and pulled out a paper bag, adding a hidden something to it before handing it to the anxious boy. "Here's your reward. Oh, I added a little extra something for your troubles."

"Thank you Koenma-sama, thank you very much," he said, bowing gratefully. Koenma dismissed the youngster and he left as quickly as he came. Upon leaving, the wold demon had instructed Koenma on the powers of each of the rice balls. All three were different. One would turn the eater 10 yrs older, another 11 and the last 15. Joy filled every inch of his face.

"Now that jerk Yusuke won't be able to call me a toddler anymore. With this, I can be a teenager without using any spirit energy. HOYEAH!" The toddler jumped off his seat and ran off into the hallway behind his desk. His mission was to retrieve a cup of tea.

"Can't have my strawberry rice balls without my tea!"

Meanwhile, Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama were nearing the entrance to Koenma's office. Drawing closer, Kurama was the first to notice the smell, as well as another's presence.

"Yusuke, he's here. The wolf demon's back."

"He-" Whoosh! Wind blew in their faces, as the rei energy ran past the motley trio. All that was left was a trail of dust. "Dammit!" yelled Yusuke.

"Hey guys, we don't know anything about that dude. He might be no threat to us at all. I mean, he didn't even attack us, you know?"

"Kuwabara does have a point. Maybe we should just let it be..."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, let's just go see Koenma already."

"They reached the door, which was already open. At first they thought it strange, but then shrugged it off, thinking that Koenma had been expecting them already anyways. When they entered they were surprised to find the vicinity empty. Koenma was nowhere to be seen.

"Where the hell is that baby?!" His anger was rising, as well as his energy.

"Calm down Urameshi! Maybe he went to the potty."

"HE'S A BABY! HE'S GOT HIS OWN TOILET IN HIS PANTS!"

"You don't suppose...he's been kidnapped, do you?" Kurama tried to sum up the information. A stranger had entered, he was almos unable to be detected by the boys, the door to Koenma's room was left open and Koenma was gone.

"You're saying that demon guy took him?" Yusuke was sitting in Koenma's seat, paying more attention at the rice balls than at Kurama.

"It's a hunch, yes. Think about it, Yusuke, it all makes sense."

"I guess...but now what? We have no idea where that thing took Koenma, or what he'll do to him. This is crazy. We have no leads!"

"That's because Koenma wasn't kidnapped," said a feminine voice from behind them. The trio turned to face a young girl dressed in a pink kimono. Her long blue hair was up in a ponytail that reached down to her hips. She grinned at the confused lads. It was fun for Botan to see Yusuke with that blank expression of his.

"Botan? How do you know? What the hell's going on here?!" Her grin stretched more as Yusuke pranced around, waving his arms in such an animated manner.

"Cool your jets, silly. I was in the secretary's office with Koenma. He told me to wait out here with you guys until he came back. It seems he has a big surprise in store for all of us. So let's just sit down and wait for him!" Her cheery personality always seemed to be a bit much. Yusuke cringed at it. Of course she liked her, it was just her good-natured attitude. It was so...so happy. Kuwabara rather liked it. He nodded happily and sat in the nearest available seat. Kurama also liked her attitude, though not as much as Kuwabara. He smiled at her and took a seat as well. Yusuke was the only one that stood.

"Feh. That stupid toddler, making us think he was kidnapped. I wish he was. Heh, that way I'd actually lead a normal life. And what's so important that he's got to make us all wait? The least he could do was give us a few drinks or sumething while he waited."

"I think he did Urameshi. Those pink rice balls on the table look like they were meant for us." Yusuke walked over to the table and stared at the treats. His mouth watered. In all his excitement he had forgotten his hunger.

"Well look at that. The kid knows how to feed his workers. Hey, there's only three. Oh well," he said and reached for the sweet. He grabbed the other and aimed it at Kuwabara, who caught it in midair. The last one was given to Kurama. He did not eat it and instead offered it to Botan.

"No thank you, Kurama. I'm not hungry right now. Thanks anyways."

"Geeze, Kurama. You act all gentlemen-like," he nudged his friend, "maybe it's young love. Eh, eh?" He winked. Botan blushed. Kurama laughed it off rather quickly.

"I was simply offering her the rice cake, really. Yusuke, maybe you just aren't kind to women enough. As I recall, it was _your _remark that caused those women to attack us back at the club..."

"Why dontcha just shut up, huh?" He took a large bite out of his rice ball before continuing. "Was it _my_ fault Hiei got all drunk on ice cream? No!" Another bite. Kuwabara was listening without much interest. He began to scarf down his rice ball. 'Man, this is good!'

"Where does Koenma get these things? They're real good!" he asked after finishing his. Kurama began nibbling his and agreed. Whoever had made these was a real good cook.

Far away, past Koenma's castle, past the Forbbiden Forest, past the Reikai and into the Makai, a certain wolf demon boy sneezed. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

"Man, all this running is getting me sick."

Anotehr demon walked in the hall leading to Koenma's room. The short fire demon blended well with the darkness of the room. When he stepped his feet seemed to lightly touch the ground. He was calmer now, calmer than before. Hiei had just finished his trip to the ice cream shop and had run all the way to the Makai. A smirk lined his face. He would never smile, unless he was unconsciouss. He finally reached the doorway to Koenma's room. He entered. And gasped.

Three children stood in the room. A boy with jet black hair, slicked back, ran around the room chasing the toddler Koenma. He seemed to be very angry as he slurred out pure obscenities. Another young boy with orange hair cried while running in circles. Botan was trying to console him by any means possible. And the last child Hiei saw was sitting Indian style away from the others. His hand held his chin and he seemed to be deep in thought. The three children seemed to be younger than 5 years old. But what stunned Hiei were their appearances. They all seemed familiar to him. And he gasped again, knowing who they were. The young boy had stopped chasing Koenma after realizing Hiei was in the room.

"ABOUT TIME HIEI! WE'VE GOT A BIG PROBLEM!" cried his high squealed voice.

"Y-Yusuke," he whispered.

And that was the 1st chapter. Oh man, this was a loooong one. It took me a while to write cause I..uh..I forgot, but it took me awhile. Anywho, read and review. I can't continue without some feedback, you nkow. SO review, why dontcha?!?!


	2. Off to the Makai

Hey, everyone! How's it going? Aw come on! Don't leave me just cause I didn't update in over a year...or so... ::is sobbing greatly:: Please!!!! I'll update faster! Don't leave me!!

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Hiei: No one reads this anyway, so why bother speaking at all, baka?

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chibi Zayla: Urusai! There has to be someone reading this!

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Yusuke: I dunno. This is a poorly written fic and you don't update ever.

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chibi Zayla: Fine, you wanna play that way? I will write a fic of you and Hiei being gay as hell!! You know I will!

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Yusuke: OO You can't...

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chibi Zayla: Oh, but I will... ::smirk::

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Hiei: ::walking away quickly::

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chibi Zayla: Come back here, you! You're going to do the disclaimer!

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Hiei: Hn. In hell...

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chibiZayla: Fine then.

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Hiei and Yusuke: ::Enter Hiei and Yusuke-wearing pink lace dresses:: chibi Zayla did not create Yu Yu Hakusho and therefore, does not own any of the characters (thank god!) and so is not making any money off of this bad fanfic (hah, serves her right)

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chibi Zayla: Be quiet, ladies!

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Hiei and Yusuke: ::groans::

Chapter 2 YAY!

Hiei stood before the pandemonium, not knowing what to do. He was afraid to speak, to say anything (so unlike Hiei, ne?) The children before him moved in such an animated way that it was hard to tell them apart; they looked to be mere whirls of colors. A toddler ran around frantically, his pursuer right behind. The little boy with the slicked black hair never ceased calling out obscenities to the now crying toddler.

"Koenma, you bastard! What the hell have you done to me?!" He was so close to grabbing Koenma, but at the last second failed. Meanwhile, Koenma took this as a chance to get away. His tactic? Running faster.

"Don't look at _me_, Yusuke! This was all your fault! If you hadn't eaten MY rice balls none of this would have happened!" The tiny baby jumped away from Yusuke's grasp. Another voice broke in, this time one louder and raspier.

"What's gonna happen to us?! I'm two freakin' feet tall! What's Yukina going to think of me now?!" The carrot top began crying rivers. There was a child next to him. His eyes seemed so much older for his age. He patted carrot tops back, consoling him as best he could. "It's okay, Kuwabara. We can reverse this and everything will go back to normal." He smiled, having successfully assuaged Kuwabara's fears.

As all this was happening, Hiei stood motionless. He saw Yusuke, or at least a miniature version of him. Kuwabara and Kurama also seemed normal, or as normal as miniature versions of themselves could be. It was as if the world had suddenly shrunk, except for Hiei himself. A squeaky voice suddenly broke his thoughts.

"Yo, Hiei! Hiei! WAKE UP, DAMN IT!" There was a tugging at his cloak.

"What?" He looked around before realizing the voice came from below. There stood mini Yusuke, a pout on his tiny lips.

"It's about time, three eyes! We've got a big problem!" Hiei only stared at the little lad in green clad.

"Listen Hiei!!" The tiny tot kicked Hiei in the shin.

"Ow, you little brat!" Yelled Hiei as he picked Yusuke up from the back of his shirt (or is it a jacket?).

"Don't even think about it, Hiei. Picking on a poor little kid like me is against Rekai laws and can get you sent to jail," said the little boy with a smirk. Hiei remembered that smirk, that cocky smirk only one ningen did so well...

"Yusuke," he said. The small boy nodded.

"About time, Hiei."

Koenma sat at his desk, his hands holding up his small chin. His eyes wandered around, apparently searching for the right words. Yusuke, growing annoyed, smacked him.

"Get on with it, tiny tot!"

"You're one to talk, mini brat!"

"Wanna make something of it, pacifier junkie?!"

"Just try me, short stuff!"

But before any blow could be dealt, Hiei had grabbed both by their collars, separating them from their brawl.

"Hey! What gives?" whined Yusuke.

"Shut up, chibi, before I get mad." Koenma stuck out his tongue at Yusuke.

"And you," he turned to face Koenma, "you better start telling me what's going on here or else Enma won't have a son to come back to." Koenma cringed.

"Alright, alright." Hiei placed him back in his seat and Yusuke on the floor.

"Well, I had asked for three special rice balls. Now these rice balls alter a person's age and appearance. One altered their age by ten years, another by eleven, and the last one by..." He stopped. One of the rice balls should have changed them one of them to a baby. If it was suppose to alter their age by 15 years why wasn't one of them a baby by now. Unless....unless Kurama had taken that rice ball....Koenma turned to face Kurama. He seemed to be okay. His body was that of a five year old, he guessed. How long would it be until the rest of the effects took place?

"Are you going to finish?" Koemna rapidly turned to Hiei.

"Uh, the last one by ten also..."

"Why did these rice balls make them younger if it was suppose to make _you_ older? They were meant to make you older, weren't they?" Koenma looked away.

"Well, yes...they were meant for me...for experimental reasons, mind you!" Everyone whispered a 'riiiiight' before continuing. "My guess as to why it shrunk them is because the ingredients had a counter effect. These weren't meant for humans, rather more complex beings-"

"Like you?"

"Yes, Yusuke, like me."

"Now Koenma, what are we to do now?" Kurama broke in, sensing another oncoming fight between the two.

"Yeah! I don't wanna stay like this!" Kuwabara cried.

"You'll have to find the man that made those rice balls and ask him to reverse the effect."

"And where is this dude?"

"In the Makai. A place called the Forbidden Forest."

"What?! I ain't going in a place named like that!" It was named that for a reason!!"

"Well then, Kuwabara, if you want to stay like that then don't go."

"Shit..."

"Oh, and Hiei," began Koenma, as Hiei was edging close to the door, "you're to accompany them."

"Like hell I will."

"Of course you will. If not, I can have your freedom taken from you."

"...." With that said (oh, he said plenty with that!) the short demon, now the tallest in the group, walked to the doorway. "Hurry up, brats." The trio of kids ran to him. "Oh, but before I leave let me tell you this; Now that I'm the leader of the group, do you think your spirit detectives will live for long?" And he walked out. Koenma let his head fall on his desk.

"Damn..."

END!!! Bwahahaha! Whatcha think? Ahaha, I think I'll have Hiei experience life a s a dad for a while! XD What do ya think? Please comment! I like hearing how dorky things sound in my fics!!!


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